October 03, 2006

Jokes about the French

Here are some jokes about the French that are doing the rounds between their Belgian and Swiss neighbours....

When a Frenchman takes a piss, does he wash his hands before or after?
During.

How does a Frenchman commit suicide?
He fires a bullet 15 centimetres above his head, smack into his superiority complex.......

Why do the French so love a joke about Belgians?
Because they get to laugh three times. First time is when they hear it. The second is when they have it explained to them; and the third when they finally get it.

Why is it that the French say 'to go to the toilets' whereas the Belgians use the singular, 'to go to the toilet'?
Because, in France, you have to try a few before finding a clean one.

After creating France, God realized that he made the most beautiful country in the world. He could see that others would be jealous. In order to redress the balance of things, he then created the French.

Why do the French always swallow so much water when they swim?
Because, even in the water, they just have to open their mouths.

Do you know how to save a Frenchman from drowning?
No? Just as well, then.

What's the difference between Nelson Mandela and members of the French government?
Nelson Mandela went to prison BEFORE being elected.